Supremely Chill Dude Loses Job After Buying Spokane’s First Legal Weed

Imagine the kind of person who would camp outside a dispensary for 19 hours to become the first legal weed buyer in his city, and chances are you'll land not far from Mike Boyer. He's a portly man, smile on his face, and he's wearing a trippy tie-dye t-shirt he says he's been "rockin'…for about 12 years now." When he talks, he sounds like a mellowed-out Kenny Powers.

Boyer became a local celebrity in Spokane, Washington this week after local news crews captured him waiting in line outside Green Leaf, the city's first recreational dispensary, to ensure his place in line. He chants ("What do we want? Marijuana. When do we want it? 2 p.m."); he chums it up with his fellow campers; he drops knowledge on pot varieties ("I'm here for sativa, some of the rarer of the herbs").

The publicity cost Boyer his job after a client saw him on TV and ratted him out to his employer, Kodiak Security Services. He seems unfazed. "Yeah, it was kind of a buzzkill," he told Vocativ. "But I wasn't going to let it ruin an awesome day."

Also: "I'm still the captain! I'm still number one! I mean, a man can always get a job. But a man can only be the first person to buy recreational cannabis in Spokane once."

In an effort to capitalize on his newfound microfame and get back into the workforce, Boyer threw his resume up on Craigslist. Reads the intro:

I lost my job due to the news coverage of me being the FIRST PERSON TO BUY MARIJUANA LEGALLY IN SPOKANE! I regret nothing. But now im jobless and have decided to post my resume here. Thanks for reviewing it.

If you know anyone in search of a consummately laid-back security professional, be a friend and get in touch.